advent-ageous.

sleepy baby.busy around here.
the making, the planning, the elves!
christmas music on pandora
& sometimes i think the song
should go,
“God rest ye weary gentlemen,”
because the merry ain’t happenin’.

children who fuss after the candy cane is gone,
children who fuss because the candy cane isn’t enough.

as a grown-up, i rail against their childishness:
why can’t you just be happy with the d.a.m.n. candy cane?
why must you lose the joy so quickly?

then, on cue, i catch my reflection
in them, that holy of holies.
why can’t i just be happy with my grown-up version of candy canes?
i’m thrilled i got the christmas backpacks ordered,
but why is the laundry again spilling off the countertops?
this christmas thing sure is fun,
but why am i in an interior battle about
not building a mario scene right in the middle of the christmas tree?

why do i lose the joy so quickly?

this season, i’ll be quiet,
aiming to recover the joy.
to revel
to reflect
to meet myself in the Holy of Holies
& reclaim the joy i tend
to keep spilling off the countertop.

you’ll excuse me if i’m scarce here?

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